Grieving Pet Loss Over Time

Our bonds with our pets remain eternal and strengthen over time, even through a pet’s passing. But enduring pet loss is one of the most heartbreaking experiences imaginable.

Some days are easier for reflection and remembrance of our best friends. But no matter whether it has been days or years since the loss of a pet, we still can encounter times of emotional distress.

While we may understand and accept that our pets are always in our hearts and memories, it is still difficult to adjust to the loss of their physical presence. Such grief can leave us feeling drained and unsure of what to do next. How do we get through the hours, days, and years after our pets pass away?

Here are some things to expect over time after the loss of a pet.

Some people question whether it’s “normal” to feel deep mourning for their pets long after the immediate loss. The honest answer is yes, this is absolutely normal, and you are not alone. Your grief also might reemerge over time through different experiences and reminders of your pet.

Also as time passes, we might notice that our support system of family and friends diminishes, and we might feel pressure to have a limited or “appropriate” timeline of grieving. Disenfranchised grief from others is also common — where some people don’t properly acknowledge or respect our grief over pet loss.

Seeking support from others who respect our bonds with our pets is key during this time, and it can bring us much-needed solace. Comfort can come from personal friendships, support groups, and even private counseling.

Learning to adjust to the loss of your pet’s physical presence while cherishing their memory can take time, along with offering yourself genuine self-compassion and peace. We should be gentle with ourselves and remember that we are doing the best we can through our emotional pathway.

Grief through the years can be a long, difficult process, and it’s unique for everyone. It is best to simply take one step, one breath at a time and learn to cope on a daily basis.

Each day can be unpredictable. Some might feel overwhelming, especially during birthdays, anniversaries, and other significant dates. The life-changing moments when we turn a different age or face a new year can further remind us of how much time has passed since the loss of our pet.

Other days will bring us peace, leading us to reflect easily on happy memories, smile and laugh about our pet’s behavior, and be able to share their story with others. Days like these help us learn to live alongside our grief in a healthy manner and remember our pet gracefully. We can also take comfort in knowing our pets would want us to be happy and live every day to the fullest, including feeling happy about their memories.

Time will bring a warm, steady tone in our hearts, where we can remember and rejoice in our pet’s loving memories (rather than just feel the sting of grief). It does not mean that we are fully healed or have accepted their loss. Rather, it’s that we’ve reached a level of contentment and harmony.

Part of the grieving process involves learning to accept that while grief may lessen over time, it will always be a part of our lives. We will forever miss our best friends and love them dearly. We simply learn to acknowledge how to live and grow around our grief and seek others who understand.

There is no timeline with grief. Every day should be taken with deep breaths and patience. We must also be kind to ourselves when making big decisions during this time.

People are often encouraged to wait at least a year before making life-changing decisions — e.g., a job change, moving, or considering adopting another pet — though there are times when such plans are best for you. If you are facing a big decision, please remember to trust your instincts, seek others for guidance if needed, and take care of yourself. Don’t be afraid to make changes, but do so cautiously and carefully.

As people grieve the loss of a pet over time, it is important to recognize that unanticipated emotions can occur and that there is no expiration date on sorrow. The most beneficial things to do are to take care of ourselves, seek support from others, learn to live graciously around our grief, and honor our pets’ memories.

You can always celebrate your pet’s story through words (hosting a celebration of life or writing their story) and actions (hiking, traveling, volunteering with animals, fostering). And remember that they are always with you in heart, spirit, and soul.

We are so thankful for our best friends who have changed our lives and taught us about love, compassion, and grace. Our pets are forever with us and live in our hearts. They have helped shape who we are, and they inspire us.

While it is OK to grieve and miss treasured pets every day, we can also learn to live our lives with kindness and care through the years.