Male vs. Female Cat Personality: Find the Best Fit for You

By Samantha Bell, Best Friends cat behavior expert

Cat lovers enjoy arguing about whether male or female cats make better companions. I understand it and even find myself joining in on this age-old debate from time to time. It’s really easy to form opinions on this matter when you’ve lived with cats you adore.

As the cat expert for Best Friends Animal Society, I’ve worked with thousands of cats over the past decade — in shelters, in homes, and in my own home. And I’m ready to share my thoughts about how personalities can differ between male and female cats.

But before we begin, I’d like to emphasize that every cat is an individual, their personalities are derived from so much more than their sex (like early experiences, socialization, health, and environment), and personality traits aren’t “pros” or “cons.”   There’s also no strong scientific evidence that male and female cats reliably differ in personality traits in a way that allows you to pick male for one personality and female for another. This is simply a fun discussion that will hopefully help you adopt the cat who's a great match for you.

The following information is based on what I’ve seen over the years. Some of it may completely contradict what you’ve experienced with cats. So please take this as a conversation and not a textbook.

Let’s dive into what you might expect from male and female cats when it comes to their personalities and how to find the best fit for you.

I have three male cats for a reason. I prefer my cats to be bold, outgoing, and attention-seeking. And I’ve found over the years that male cats tend to fall into these categories more often than female cats.

Beyond just my personal observations, research shows that male cats (particularly outdoor male cats) exhibit more boldness through risk-taking, being less fearful in new situations, and being more willing to roam and explore. This is partly due to testosterone, which is tied to mating instincts and competition for females.

Even though indoor male cats are usually neutered well before the onset of puberty, many still show bold and outgoing personality traits. This is because testosterone starts shaping a male cat's brain before birth. By the time they’re born, testosterone has already influenced the development of neurons that will help guide behavior and personality.

Two of my three male cats will run to greet any stranger when they walk in the door, and the third will approach after a few minutes. My boys are confident, friendly, and curious. And I think they assume my friends are there specifically to see them. So, in my case, the “outgoing male” stereotype is quite accurate.

However, I’ve seen plenty of exceptions to this stereotype. For instance, when I brought a male and a female foster kitten to a school presentation, the female was relaxed and loving the attention while the male was trembling and just wanted to stay in his carrier. So, while boldness might be more common in male cats, it’s not guaranteed.

Furthermore, while unneutered male cats can be extremely territorial, I’ve found neutered males to be more tolerant of new cats entering their territory than females are, which can make multi-cat introductions easier.

Neutering usually makes male cats’ temperaments more easygoing too. Shout-out for neutering (and spaying) pets! By spaying and neutering pets, we can prevent behavioral and medical issues as well as reduce overpopulation in shelters and save more lives.

Not everyone wants their cats to be bold and attention-seeking. I’ll never forget a friend kindly mentioning that living with my three in-your-face, attention-seeking cats would get on her last nerve. Because they’re often more reserved and independent, female cats usually proved to be the perfect companions for her.

It makes sense that personality traits like selectiveness and caution are often associated with female cats. Historically, female cats have had to be more cautious to protect themselves and their kittens. Being careful and slower to trust helps their kittens survive. And like males, female kittens are also exposed to hormonal influences in utero, long before they are spayed. The estrogen and progesterone in their system help set their future personalities.

But being slower to trust does not mean that female cats aren’t loving and affectionate. Quite the opposite. Once you gain their trust, the bond with a female cat can be incredibly deep. And it feels even more special to gain a cat’s trust after you’ve worked for it.

Before I adopted my three males, I had two female cats for 15 years. They were the loves of my life. They sat with me all day and slept with me at night. I know the love and affection a female cat can provide. But they definitely weren't as outgoing or goofy as my male cats.

And just like with male cats, there are plenty of exceptions to the stereotypically cautious female cat personality. I fostered a trio of kittens, two females and a male, and one of the females was such a daredevil. She was much bolder than her siblings, being the first to jump off the sofa and the first to explore other rooms in my home. And according to her adopter, she is still a very outgoing and bold cat.

So, while female cats are often seen as cautious or independent, it doesn’t mean they can’t be adventurous, silly, or affectionate. Just like with male cats, the magic is in getting to know them as individuals and not as stereotypes. Neither sex is “better” or more loving; cats simply have their own unique and adorable personalities.

Whether you're drawn to the bold energy of a silly male cat or the affectionate devotion of a precious female cat (or vice versa), the right cat for you is the one with whom you connect and whose personality fits your lifestyle. Don’t worry about stereotypes. Focus on the connection and feel the magic.

If you’re not sure where to start, the staff and volunteers at your local shelter or rescue organization can help you. They know the cats in their care and can help you find the right match.

Check out the pets available for adoption at Best Friends or find a shelter or rescue group near you.